Thursday, November 19, 2009

Love and Let Live

Today, I came across a quote on love which I found to be quite profound. It read “The beginning of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not to twist them with our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”

I believe this to be true, but I feel it does not end with the beginning of love. It is said that familiarity breeds contempt. I understand that, but I also wonder why that is. Why is it that we are so careful about how we come across to complete strangers and, yet, we are willing to hurt those we love?

As a child of 23, I have been in and out of love. I have loved strongly and deeply and these small, but poignant quotes have quite an effect on me. Many people, myself included, constantly try to mould others into something that fits them. In reality, this is making them into something they are not, to better suit you. THIS breeds contempt.

No matter how much you love someone, you cannot and should not expect them to change for you or for anyone, for that matter. We are told, as children, that we should be ourselves and then, in love, we find ourselves trying to change for others. The simplest of rules, “be yourself,” suddenly becomes a challenge. We play a sort of masquerade, searching for the right personality to capture the object of our desire.

When we play this game, we inevitably sink into cycle of resentment. When you live your life for someone else, you regret. The regrets may not be instantaneous. It may take a while for the resentment to come out, but it will. These things, I know.

As I sit here and read my words which I know to be true, I wonder how I can preach so much and practice so little. We are all guilty of it. I see that I must embrace all the quirks and differences of the people I love because that is why I love them in the first place. If they were to change, love would change.

Lastly, I know this: “When the door of happiness closes, another opens but oftentimes we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has opened for us.” Let all your open doors be seen and all your love be pure.

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